Empty Handed

Behind those eyes you lie to me.
I never saw your soul.
Behind those eyes you cry to me.
Your heart will pay the toll.
I gave you every part of me, a beauty no one's seen.
You gave me lies of bravery, you've never spread those wings.
Go back to where you came from, & I'll try hard to forget.
The fear you live in constantly, will be your last regret.
You wont know just how good it feels, to take that hopeful leap...
With faith in love, she catches you, that sweet sigh of relief.
Surprised to find a woman that can heal all your scars?
I loved you for a moment, but you held me back with bars.
I'm tired & I'm lonely, you would never wait for me.
Yes I'm leaving empty handed, but that's all you'll ever be.

-Fallen Angel-

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray, I stood there loving you and wished them all away. Now you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you. Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day. So just walk away, no use to fear the words that you will never say. Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through, I've never been anywhere as cold as you.

Choices

Blinding light illuminates the choices that I've made

Refusing to believe my path was carved from each mistake.

Misleading those that follow me, I'll take this road alone.

Resenting painful memories, if only I had known...

With every broken promise made, my fragile heart was tested.

Remembering the life I gave, to be this girl reflected.

I'm grateful for success I've earned, I thank God every night.

I pray for time to find someone, a love that feels right.

Through rhythmic beats and melodies, I'll sing to you my soul.

The parts of me you cannot see, the parts that make you whole.

Transcending from a darkened past, my future wasn't clear.

With hopes to find a love that lasts, I'm facing all my fears.

-Fallen Angel-

Crazy Beautiful

Misunderstood intentions are beyond your comprehension.
Silent thoughts never escape these pretty lips.
Corrupted angels sing my song, afraid of stringing love along.
Yet there is beauty coming from these fingertips.
Hesitate and I will have you,
You may laugh, because it's true.
This is something you cannot simply ignore.
I'm a fallen piece of heaven.
I am nothing that you need.
I am everything you've wanted in a girl.
Misconceptions create heartache
Loneliness will flood your mind.
It is then that you will love me...
because all I need is time.

Consonance

No method to identify.
No classes have been taught.
I take the words God gave me and I pour them in a box...
Amazed by it's simplicity, the beauty in a rhyme.
When art can take a liquid form then grow sweeter through time.
They ask me why I do it, how my writing got so strong?
My answer comes so easily...because my life's a song.
A symphony so lovely you can hear a woman's heart.
Harmonic beats and melody have plagued me from the start.
My mind is like a masterpiece, each piece so finely tuned.
I pause to write, take in what's left...and think of something new.

-Fallen Angel-

Consonance: A simultaneous sounding of tones that produces a feeling of rest, i.e., a feeling that there is no need for further resolution.

Our days are numbered...

I stare up at the ceiling of my doctor's office dressed in a flimsy cotton gown, and I notice they have pinned up a picture of a tropical island. Perhaps it was a way to help their patients imagine they are somewhere far away from the troubles they face here. I wonder just how many women have sat on this very table, looking up to God for answers and finding nothing but this old poster ripped in one corner. A thought crosses my mind. Is this one of many doctor's visits to come where I will be forced to look at this dreaded picture? Will there be a time when my vision eventually fades to the point where I can only see it by memory?

The nurse is making small talk. I tell her about my son,

"He'll be three in September"

"I'll bet he's beautiful, just like his mama."

"Oh thank you, and yes he is."

"You're so young."

"I guess I started early," I laugh.

"Well at least you'll be the cool mom on all the field trips".

You're so young...these words weigh heavy on my mind. Her intentions were good, but this statement followed me home from this office visit plaguing my dreams and thoughts. I'm too young. I haven't been here long enough to appreciate every second I've been given. When I was a little girl I was always so anxious to go ahead of everyone else, I wanted to be first in everything. I took my training wheels off a week before any of the other kids in my neighborhood. There was never a time when someone HAD to dare me because I had already gone off and done the unthinkable. I was always ahead of my time. Now all I want to do is go back. To savor every moment I let pass by without recognition. The simplicity of an afternoon eating oranges, playing Frisbee with my mother sounds like heaven right now. There are surgical referrals, and biopsies to be scheduled. Tell me I'm taking this too seriously. Tell me I have to think positive. Tell me it's nothing, but you're not me. Your life isn't in question right now, mine is. If I want to reflect back on my childhood and the things I would do differently, let me. I hope you're right, please prove me wrong. I want everything to work out but I don't want to ignore this subject. When all is said and done, I will have learned a great deal. No matter what the test results say. my thoughts have been altered, I no longer resent early mornings. I welcome them eagerly. I'm thankful for the time I have been given and I pray I'm lucky enough to get more. If this is just a scare, I'm thankful, because now I know how quickly it can all slip away.

-Fallen Angel-

For we are born but yesterday and know so little, and our days on earth are as transient as a shadow.

Job:8:9 NLT