One last date.
One last vacation.
One more time in your arms,
a familiar kiss,
tracing the outline of your chest,
a moment of weakness...
Even still, as I write, tears fall.
Sobriety's a bitch.
No lack of alcohol, just reality sneaking in.
It's as though my heart will collapse.
Or my eyes may never dry,
this tide will never turn,
my storm will never clear...
Air creeps in a tightened throat,
I look around our home,
the life we've built.
Watching it dissolve.
Instinctively I reach towards my heart, gripping the flesh and pulling out,
wanting to expel this pain.
Praying it will stop growing,
my brow aches.
My lips tremble.
More tears, rain.
I miss you.
I wanted you.
I hated you.
I love you.
None of that matters now.
We're done.
Watch it fade.
The light we shared,
all those years.
I hoped for your awakening,
Pray you'd find your path,
with each mistake a lesson guides,
to one where we could last.
Another path keeps calling you,
one with shadows cast,
upon the light inside of you.
You disappear so fast.
Too many nights spent wasted,
following your steps.
There's always one more rabbit hole,
I wish I could forget...
This life goes on forever,
never ending second tries.
I can't pretend I'm interested,
In hearing heart felt lies.
I never doubt the love you felt,
it pulsates through my veins,
but every time you've poisoned me,
I lost myself to stay.
Each new found truth, discovery,
revealing hidden strength,
the depths to which I find myself,
have reached unbridled lengths.
